We constantly create prickles for ourselves!

We may  be observing and judging others problems in life from the wrong perspective.

By inventing a story about their lives that is not true.

Here is an example, and exercises to help you move into greater resolution with those around you.

Two friends that we know are always arguing and sharing their conflict with us. We listen, offer support and suggestions on how to live more conflict free.

Yet the conflict and sharing of the specific incidents keeps on continuing.

Joan and I were discussing this and I said “X and Y are always in conflict”

Joan’s reply: “Is that really true”

My answer: “No not really they are not arguing all the time actually, they sleep sometimes and do other work”

Joan: “How do you feel when you believe the thought that they are arguing all the time?”

Me: “Frustrated, concerned, and even a little bit righteous, because they have not solved it”

Joan “Can you see anything positive from holding on to that thought?”

Me “Actually NO”

Joan: So can we turn the thought around and find one that is true?

Me: “So when I reverse it I get this… X and Y are always loving towards each other”

Joan: And is that true for you?

Me: “Hmmmm, well, I guess it is, they actually do love each other at a deeper level than the arguing level” “Hey that is good!”

Joan: How does that make you feel?

Me: “Great!” “It is funny, now I can see their whole interactions on another level; I can see their conflicts as their game.” It is like an old couple who loves each other and has the habit of correcting and pushing and shoving, or two brothers play fighting.” “In me that creates a loving feeling towards both of them, and now I can enjoy their stories even more.”

“Also, every incident is now a unique incident, and if I am approached again, I will not listen from the perspective of “They are always arguing” but with fresh ears and heart.” “That thought makes me smile”

I now feel much more complete.

Let’s get on with the questions for us all to answer to resolve these thoughts we have about others lives

Questions:

• Who do you know who fights with each other? Put that conflict into words and write it down.
• Apply the first question. “Is this thought true?”
• 2. How do you feel when you believe this thought?
• 3. Can you see any positive reason to hold on to the thought?
• 4. Turn the thought around
• What have you discovered?

Now let’s do this with somebody who we ourselves fight with

• Put that conflict into words and write it down on piece of paper
• Apply the first question. “Is this thought true?”
• 2. How do you feel when you believe this thought?
• 3. Can you see any positive reason to hold on to the thought?
• 4. Turn the thought around
• What have you discovered?