3 ways to Dissolve Grief in an Instant
Three Ways to Dissolve Grief in an Instant
A popular misconception is that it takes nine months to get over grief, but when we examine this closely we see that it not the time element that is the controlling factor in the recovery process.
When we investigate without bias, we see that different people have remarkably differing recovery times. Some people are able to work through their grief in as few as 1-2 seconds, others take up to 30 years, and yet others may grieve for the rest of their lives.
Why the difference?
It is obviously not a time factor, otherwise there would be no difference. Yet for some reason, we continue repeating the same untruths that it takes time to work through grief.
So where does this myth come from in the first place?
One factor in the persistence of this myth is our unwillingness to challenge it!
We as a species are unwilling to challenge the basic myths behind our suffering!
We are loathe to tell a person in suffering that the suffering they are experiencing is their own creation, and that others in similar situations are not suffering, and are free and enjoying life.
Instead of being clear about the issue and inspiring change and freedom from grief, we support the person with words like “Yes, how terrible,” or “That must be horrible”. Their response is to feel justified in their pain, because it has now been confirmed, supported, and agreed to as a good thing!
The more we repeat, “Yes, it takes a certain time to get over grief” or some other thought pattern, we are giving the person permission to continue in that state!
Having said all this, when a person has been struck with grief, they can feel totally bereft of every aspect of life; overwhelmed, crushed, and destroyed. They may be unable to comprehend the three ways that I am outlining below! In this case, nurture them, cherish them, and love them until they are able to hear the advice below and develop a willingness to follow it.
How do we dissolve grief in an instant?
- Have a cup of tea! This has been the response of many enlightened masters. They understand that the mind cannot stay focused on any topic for long, so they point out that whether or not we want to, the mind will wander to another topic, and the grief will be forgotten in a few seconds. By observing the mind closely, we will see this happening constantly. We are not in grief for years, even if we say we are. We will have a moment of grief, then a moment when we are thinking about tea. That is the nature of the mind. The response of, “have a cup of tea,” is not a flippant remark. These masters are telling us to look deeply into the nature of the mind. When you do so, you will see that the thought about grief may arise for an instant, but it soon departs, only to be replaced by a different thought, then another and another.
- Engage the mind by talking about some other topic of interest that the person loves to gossip about. As soon as the mind has switched to a topic of interest, the focus will go there and the emotional state will follow. Within a few seconds, the person can be chatting, engaged, and cheerful regarding some other aspect of life.
- Take up something very physical. Have you ever seen a sprinter in grief? Yes, possibly when they lost. For instance at the Olympics. But while running? I have never seen that. Even if they know they are going to lose and will experience grief in about 30 seconds, they are not in grief while running. I am not suggesting sprinting, rather, making the point that physical activity has a very powerful effect on grief if we do the activity with the intent of creating freedom from suffering and entry into joy. Engage in some intense activity that gets the blood flowing, the heart pounding and creates the release of endorphins, the “Happy Hormones” in the body. Then we are doing three things to help ourselves: creating intense focus, breathing deeply, and flooding our body with endorphins, lighting up the happy circuitry in our body.
For the standard understanding of grief please look here. This Wiki entry, supposedly an authority, tells us that grief lasting years is quite normal and to be expected. Contrary to that opinion I find that grief is a matter of personal choice.
This video that speaks really well about choice. In the first few minutes he speaks about his two grandmothers, and how each chose joy or sadness as a behavior pattern to all of life’s events. But then he loses the point when he then goes into the stages of grief, despite his second grandmother displaying the ability to drop grief in an instant!
Picture used is from approved source